


Little time apart

by lwtmehome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 13:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4609248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lwtmehome/pseuds/lwtmehome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What about them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little time apart

I can’t and I really don’t want to see him anymore. Somewhere deep inside I know it’s not really his fault, but it hurts way too much.  
It’s just not worth it anymore.

”You’re leaving?”  
”Yeah.”  
He looks sad and I know this will break him. But I can’t help it, I’m already in pieces myself.  
”Do you have to?”  
”Yes.”

He won’t ask me to stay.

I know it’s been hard for both of us, I know he’s had to say things he didn’t want to say, but I’ve been here all this time.

Waiting.

And now I just can’t anymore.  
”We could work our way around this, you know.”  
He’s mumbling, stalling. 

Hoping he doesn’t have to say those three words for me to stay. He’s so into the role that he almost believes in it himself.  
It makes me sick.

”There’s nothing to work anymore. We can’t do anything. You won’t do anything.”  
He looks hurt but I’m not giving in. I spent all these years watching from aside. Seeing him make it big while being at least somewhat happy.  
While I had no one, ’cause I waited for him.

”You’re not like this Harry. You know this won’t solve anything.”  
He’s almost desperate. Almost.  
”You don’t know what I’m like anymore. We’re not that close anymore Louis.”  
I want to run, because I know that he only has to look at me once with those deep blue eyes, and I’ll give up.

I’ve given everything up for him.

”What are you talking about? I’m your best friend, nothing’s changed.”  
”You’re wrong. Everything’s changed. I don’t want to be your best friend, Louis.”

There it was; out in the broad day light. I hadn’t said it outloud ever since that day three years ago.  
He knows what I mean. He knows it, but he doesn’t want to hear it. Never again.

”Harry—We’ve talked about this. Don’t be like this. You know the situation.”  
I could see the discomfort in his eyes. They were shouting at me, telling me to let it go and pretend like this never happened.  
Just like all those nights when he sneaked up to my room while Eleanor was sleeping in his bed. 

”Yes, but I want that situation to change. And it will.”  
”Harry, please. It—It just is what it is,” he sighed.  
”No, no it isn’t. I’m not going to stay and torture myself anymore. I need a break, a long one at that.” 

I turned around, trying not to feel the tug in my heart. Trying not to just turn back and kiss the hell out of him, telling him how I love him.  
It wouldn’t do any good, not with someone like him.

”Harry,” he breathed out.

I don’t turn, but I stop on my tracks.  
This is his last chance to say the right words. It’s not that hard and I almost hope he’d say them.

”I can’t be without you.”

Wrong answer.

”Yes you can. Give Eleanor the attention she actually deserves.”  
With that I step out of the apartment.

****

I cry and cry until there’s no tears left. I knew leaving him wouldn’t be easy, I knew I’d cry.  
But it’s been two months and I haven’t heard much of him. He calls on occasion, to ask when I’m coming back.

He never asks me to come though.

And this all just tears me apart.  
But I can’t go back yet. I promised myself that I won’t go back before I’m strong enough to stay away from him, strong enough to be friends with him.  
Strong enough to let go.

My phone buzzes, signaling an incoming call.  
It’s him.

”Hi.”  
”Hi.”  
It’s quiet like always. He’s thinking and re-thinking his words before he says anything. Because of the managment.  
I’m so thankful for Simon. He was the one who arranged this get away for me. 

”How has it been?” he asks, silently.  
”Alright. There?”  
”Quiet and a bit lonely, without you. But we’ll do. Niall has been sleeping in your room. It feels empty here.”

I know he’s not lying, but I can’t believe him now. Not when I’ve come this far.

”How’s Eleanor?”  
He’s quiet again and I know he was hoping I’d never ask about it.  
”She’s good. We’re good.”

And that answers to all of my questions and even though there were not supposed to be any tears left, my cheeks feel wet and warm again.

****

I’m nervous, even though I’m positive I’m fine going in to that apartment. All of my friends are waiting for me and I’ve missed them.  
I open the door with my key, even though it feels rather foreign in my hand.  
”Harry? Finally!” I get a huge Horan hug before I even manage to close the door behind me.  
”Hi Nialler,” I smile in to his shoulders as he rubs my back and laughs.  
Once I’ve been released we walk further down in to the apartment. Everyone’s there.  
Simon, Zayn, Liam, Paul and Louis with Eleanor.  
They smile and come rushing to me, giving me hugs, asking how I’ve been.  
I smile too, because I know that I don’t want to go anywhere. 

”Hi.”

His voice sounds exactly the same it did four months ago. It has this edge to it that sends shivers down my spine.  
But this time I won’t let it show.

”Hi,” I smile to him too and he seems bit taken a back.  
”Are you staying?” he asked, carefully walking closer to me, testing the ice.  
I nod and he finally smiles at me.

”Welcome home Harry,” Eleanor smiles at me right from behind him. Louis’ smile falters a bit.  
I know he wanted to be the one to say that and it makes me chuckle.  
”Thank you, Eleanor.” 

****

It’s still not easy. Months pass by and I’ve been strong.  
Louis hasn’t tried to crash in my bed after I came back and I think it’s because he’s scared I might leave again.  
So he’s keeping his distance.  
Ecxept when we’re on stage.  
On stage we have no rules and we can hug each other. We can share looks and laugh even though our relationship is utterly shitty right now.  
I’m not asking about Eleanor anymore, because I don’t want to know.  
He doesn’t talk about her either.  
All in all everything’s better, but not good. I’m in love with him and he knows it.

”Hey Harry?” 

I snap out of my daze and face a pair of piercing blue eyes staring straight in to my eyes.  
”We’re here. Let’s go.”  
He gives me a tired smile before ushering me out of the SUV. The other boys are probably already in their beds sleeping off the exhaustion.  
I opened the door to our flat that we still shared. Louis was about to flick the lights on but I stop him by pulling his hand.  
”Please don’t. I really don’t want to see any light right now.”  
He nods slowly and I let go of his hand, walking towards my bedroom. 

”Harry?”

I turned around and saw him suffling on his feet. So unlike Louis.  
He’s not the most confident person in the world but he knows what he wants. At least he usually does.  
”Hmm?” I hummed in response, waiting for him to tell what’s on his mind.  
”I know it hasn’t been the same in ages, but I really miss my best friend. I know you don’t want to be that to me but I still miss you.”  
He was now looking at me with those big sad eyes of his, telling me that he was serious.  
And I wouldn’t doubt him for a second but I hadn’t seen this side of him that much since I came back.

”Do you want to sleep with me tonight, Lou?” 

I try to smile, but I know it probably looks nothing like it.  
He nods quickly, as if he’s afraid I’ll change my mind. Not that I would. Not today.  
He walks to me and I take his hand in mine, pulling him in my bedroom after me.  
We undress in silence and I try not to look at his bare chest. Of course I have to peek, knowing that I need to see those tattoos and his perfect milky skin.  
He smiles at me as he notices me looking at him and this time I manage to smile back.  
I slip under the covers and soon he follows suit. We lay there, looking into each other’s eyes, not saying anything.  
I know I shouldn’t let him this close, I know we’ll just end up hurting each other.

But how exactly can you stay away from your soul mate? I haven’t figured it out yet.

”I adore you Louis, you know that right?” I ask him silently, trying not to scare him away.  
”I do know that Haz. You’re just the same to me,” he smiles a bit, taking my hand in his.  
I give it a squeeze, trying to make him understand just how much he means to me.  
Only I know that I don’t even need to tell him, because he knows it better than anyone else.  
”Sometimes I hate this all,” I admit. He looks deep in to my eyes, searching for something, a sign I might be giving up, maybe.  
But that’s not it.  
At times I just wonder if all this fame and fortune is worth losing him. I do love our fans and I love to sing.  
But I love Louis with all of my heart.  
”No you don’t. You just hate the management. The fact that you have to say no to these feelings and that we can’t.. We can’t be what we want to be,” he spoke with a soft voice and I bet my heart stopped for a moment.  
This guy never stopped amazing me.  
”You still want to be.. what I want to be?” I breath out an uneven breath.  
Louis looks at me with his eyes full of pain, pain that’s so familiar to me.  
”Of course, Haz. We just can’t.. And it’s killing me, trust me,” he looks away for a second, before focusing his gaze back on me.  
”I feel sorry for Eleanor. Because she’s in between and I can’t even tell her. It’s not her fault that she happened to come between me and the love of my life. It just isn’t,” he spoke with hurt in his voice, but all I could think about was the part where he talked about the love of his life.  
”I’m the love of your life?” a smile makes its way on my lips, even though there’s nothing happy about this topic.

But he smiles too.

”The one and only.”  
”Can I please kiss you?” I ask, caressing his hands and he nods.  
I lean in and waste no time, as I press our lips together.  
Finally I’m giving in to that missing, that craving I’ve had for him for ages.  
His lips feel warm and soft against mine and I don’t want to let go of him ever again.  
I circle my hands around his waist and pull him to my chest. His hands find they’re way to my curls and he pulls on them softly, making me let out a soft whimper.

Then he pulls few inches away and takes a deep breath.  
”I don’t think we should do this. It will only hurt us both afterwards.”  
I hear him, but I know he’s just as eager to go on as I am. He wants it and so do I.  
”I know. But I—” I don’t know what should I say, so I keep quiet. I know Louis can read me anyways.  
”I know Harry. Can we live with it?” he asks, tracing his fingers on my bare chest and I take a sharp breath.  
”I can. If you just won’t go back ignoring me again,” I say.

For a moment everything stands still, until he nods.  
And then it was all pleasure.  
**** 

I remember the time management started dropping those small hints about us. Telling us we should spent more time with the other lads.  
Saying that we couldn’t sit together in the interviews and we couldn’t touch each other like we were.  
And it ripped me and Louis apart.  
We talked about it, said we wouldn’t bent. That we were just best friends and we wouldn’t let the management tear us apart just because it looked like something else.  
Unfortunately I found myself falling hard for that beautiful boy. 

And he figured it out. 

It was all him asking me if I was okay with everything while the management did their best to separate us.  
And in the end I gave in to them, just after Louis told me he loved me too.  
But it was too late by then, we had already been taken away from each other.  
I remember thinking and wishing that some miracle would happen and the world would accept Louis and me.  
But the world wasn’t our biggest problem; not even the management. 

Louis was.

He was so afraid of the feelings, afraid to admit that he actually was attracted to me.  
I understood him. After all I had had a lot more time to get used to the idea before Louis found out.  
The management gave him a way out of it all. Gave him a chance to hide from his feelings and he took it because he was so damn afraid.  
What hurt me the most was the way how he just walked away from me.  
I knew that he was hurting too, saying things like ’I loved you first’ in the interviews and I couldn’t do anything.  
But after those interviews he wouldn’t talk about it. It was frustrating because I wanted to tell him that I never loved anyone else than him.  
I lost the spark in me.  
”Harry? What are you thinking about?”  
I turn to face Niall; he looks worried.  
”Just the interview. Going through some of the questions in my mind,” I lie easily.  
He nods, but keeps the same worried expression on his face.

I’m glad I have Niall. 

”Don’t worry, Ni,” I smile at him and he loosens up, smiling back at me.  
The night Louis spent in my bed couple of days ago was just one huge mistake. I really shouldn’t have done it.  
He’s sitting on the other side of the SUV and is looking at me. I wonder what he’s thinking about.  
We arrive to the building where the interview is held. It’s the first full lenght one since I came back from my break.  
We walk towards the huge block of flats surrounded by our security guards who try to protect us from the screaming girls.  
I throw a smile or two to them before I walk inside.  
Louis and I are forced to walk away from each other, just so the cameras won’t catch anything suspicios.

I think it’s ridiculous. 

They make us sit down on a couch. One of the management team members tries to push Louis to sit on the other side of it.  
Much to my surprise Louis gives her a glare and thumps down beside me. He doesn’t say anything but he throws his arm around me and smiles.  
I’m a bit confused to say the least. I don’t remember when was the last time we sat together in an interview.  
I give him a small smile too, just when the interviewer announces we’re starting.  
She introduces us to the camera and I’m so thankful this is one of those interviews where we have no audience.  
”So, Harry. You just returned from your holiday couple months ago. How was it?”  
”Well, I’m not sure if you can call it a holiday, I wrote bunch of songs to our new album so it was basically working,” I say, giving her my dimpled smile.  
She blushes a bit and I feel a nudge on my right.  
Louis is giving me a somewhat stern look; the same one he used to give me when Niall and I were hugging too much for his liking.  
I try to ignore him, but sassy as Louis is, he won’t let it be.  
I miss half of the questions, because he’s obviously sulking at me. I’m pretty sure he’s jealous, but I can’t believe he’s showing it like this.  
”So, Louis and Harry. Do I dare to ask about Larry Stylinson, or is it a forbidden topic?” the lady laughs a little as she asks this question.  
No one has asked about Larry Stylinson since forever. Our management made it pretty clear that we won’t answer to questions that have something to do with Larry.

Apparently she didn’t get the memo.

”Of course not,” Louis chirps before I have the chance to dodge the question.  
I can literally feel everyone’s heads turning to look at him. Even if I can’t see all of the people in the room.  
”Oh? So, what do you have to say about Larry Stylinson then?” the interviewer is seemingly more interested now.  
I give Louis a warning look, but he brushes it off.  
”Well, I’m sure you know it’s the name the fans have given me and Harry, or more like to our romantic relationship,” he begins, smiling his adorable smile,  
”and Larry Stylinson is doing better than ever to be honest. For a while there was some misunderstandings, with my tweets and all, but I thinks it’s safe to say that that’s all in the past now.”  
I don’t remember when was the last time he was this confident about this. And it kinda turns me on, to be honest.  
”Harry?”  
I can’t take my eyes off of Louis, even when I answer.  
”Yeah, Louis is right. For a while the attention we gained from some of the Larry fans was a bit suffocating and made things a bit hard between me and my best friend. But now, we’ve worked through it.”

I smile with all I got to Louis and he returns it. I can see the small sparkle in his eyes, telling me that he’s not giving up anymore.  
I know this will be in Youtube by tomorrow and the fans will be gushing. And I don’t even care.  
I finally turn to look at the others, mostly the other boys, and they’re all smiling.

I think they’re happy for us. 

”Wow, so is Larry Stylinson real or..?”  
I feel like we can’t answer that question yet, considering Louis is dating Eleanor.

”Well of course it is. Just like Niam for example,” I say with a teasing tone, making the boys laugh.  
A new conversation gets on from there and I look at Louis, to see if he’s still okay.  
He’s smiling like an idiot, so I just assume he’s fine. I give him a small nudge and he laughs.  
We’re so much in trouble now, but I don’t really care.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, yeah, so. This is my second Larry fic and I'm not really that much of a writer, to be honest.


End file.
